The One Where Lauren Talks A Lot.

I guess I should write. Because it's been a week and Mack is at work and I don't want to work on my project due tomorrow night just yet. Things are always better when you do them the very last minute and do it in a fanatic frenzaaaay. But I think I still feel a little weird about taking all of my little thoughts and feelings and putting them out onto the interwebs not knowing whether or not they make anyone's life a little more uplifted, or funnier, or whatever it is blogs are meant to do.

Or maybe I am just yet another person starving for validation. But, so? All human beings need validation, doggoneit. Even the Savior knew that and He gives it to all. And if people think that needed validation is stupid or wrong or beneath them, then ok. But this blog isn't for the haters. I just wanna show all of my haters love. I am sure there are people that come across my blog and think I'm ridiculous or silly or that I need to talk about something other than my hott husband and law school. But that's my life. And what else should I write about if not my life and the things that I care about most? Politics? Yeah, no thank you. That is a discussion I would only engage in in person if it could be at all uplifting and not the least bit defensive.

Anyways, this blog is for us, to look back and remember those sweet nights spent wrapped up in each other, to remember how fragile I felt the first semester of law school. It's for our friends who don't get to see us all the time but still want to see what our life consists of. It's for our families that we can't share as much with as we want to. That's who this is for. And I write for them with limited reservations and inhibitions.

Life. Yeah, back to talking about that.

My days go like this: I am super happy every morning, and I wake up wrapped up in this beautiful man's arms,

and he kisses me gently until I wake up and then holds me until the alarm rings again and then he sweetly tells me that it's time to get up. I am exhausted but I promise myself a diet coke and then I get outta bed. And then I "get ready" which more often than not leads to a bun of hair on my head and fixing yesterday's mascara because it's time to gooooooooo. And then I rush off to school determined to finally "get" all the stuff I have been learning about.

And I do so good for the first few hours, I am so determined that today is the day it will finally click.

And then it doesn't and I feel fragile and crumple inside a little. But I keep trying anyway. And then around 6-8pm Mack shows up and I run away from my study carrel with minimal determination to have this day be the day that everything makes sense and become the ultimate law-master. And maybe I cry sometimes because law school is so hard and makes me feel so stupid, inadequate and incompetent. So, what? A lot of things that are good for you hurt, because they stretch you and make you grow and learn. And they show you a little more how God is in the nooks and crannies of your life and that you have to trust this crazy plan He made for you so perfectly. Those things can't come easy, because they wouldn't be worth as much then. And just because something is hard doesn't mean you love it any less. Just because this dream of mine to get a law degree and change the parts of the world that I can is ridiculously hard doesn't mean that I want to give up or that I don't wake up excited every day.

But it is the time with the resident blonde-haired blue-eyed babe in my life that gives me the renewed determination that I save for the next day. It is our excursions and long drives, our stops at the sketchy gas stations and temple trips, it is our family prayers and passionate and compassionate kisses that make me feel like myself again after a long day of not feeling like anything but an applesauce head.

And it is my opinion that God gave me this man now, not sooner even though I wanted him so badly then, or later, but NOW because God knew that this transformation would be so hard and so necessary that I would need the person most core to my whole being and purpose to be with me. And I think that's what marriage is all about. It's about compromising and letting go of the little things that get you frustrated but really don't matter, it's about long kisses that still make your heart skip a beat, it's about snugging close every night and having him hold you when you cry. It's about making him dinner and picking him up from work even though you wish you could be asleep because he is more IMPORTANT than sleep. It's about having your own whole life planned and organized and letting God teach you that it's good and even necessary to throw those things out the window and letting someone else become your whole entire life. And I think it takes a whole entire lifetime to learn how to do this.

And now, because you were so nice and patient, here are some wedding pictures for you to enjoy.

PS. All of these gorgeous pictures came from the genius of Cascio Photography. Seriously, she was AMAZING, not only her art but to work with. AMAZING. And I had to deal with my fair-share of not good photographers. But she is fabulous.