With a little feeling.

My hair looks weird all piled up on my head. And I refuse to care, my brain has turned to applesauce. All I ever write, talk, think about is law school.

Except last night.

Last night we held each other and let our souls touch. His words filled me up big. We whispered about our dreams and our hearts and we giggled until the clock suggested that our efforts to go to bed early had become futile.

Even this morning when the alarm sounded and the sun wasn't even up yet and he woke me up with sweet little kisses on my cheek, I have taken to calling these "goldfish kisses," he told me that he would be tired every day if he could talk to me so sweet and so late every night.

Last night filled my insatiable itch, my craving for something I couldn't figure out for days, he filled up my heart with so much love my eyes gleam whenever I think about how sweet his soft heart and tender soul is. All I really care about is that smile and those eyes and making sure that he sleeps on the warm side of the bed that doesn't face the outside wall because our old little house is beyond glacial.

We have both been exhausted for weeks now, our schedules are straight up funky. He works most nights until midnight and I am up in the library just working on my intelligence then anyways, and then we go-go-go-go all day. And no amount of sleeping-in on Saturdays can make up for how simple we wish life could be, how much we want to throw away the phones and computers and to-do lists and just BE.

I needed to talk with him with that much of my fragile little heart being exposed because it helped me feel something other than stupid after a long, long set of weeks and classes that make my brain feel like applesauce. It was last night that I realized how much I NEED him now. Maybe that doesn't make sense, we are married and we have been in love for a while now. But I finally got it. My quiet heart finally let my obtuse brain see how this man is more integral to my heart and soul and purpose and being than I am. And as he held me and the rain fell, I have never felt more safe.

This song captures it.